Making It Through the Chaos
This week was filled with all the little chaotic disruptions which make life what it is…LIFE. Work is blowing up, and I should note at this point that I’ve very recently started at a new job. A job that represents the next level for me professionally. It’s in my field, builds on my existing knowledge base, has me focusing on issues I’m passionate about and is compensating me in more than just a paycheck and title, but in ways that really make a difference–great colleagues, flexibility, creativity…it’s fun. It’s also incredibly busy and can be high pressure, which I have to admit I kind of love. My secret confession is that I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I love a deadline and I love to push it to the limit. How much can I get done in the shortest amount of time possible…beginning to see why I signed up for the boot camp? Can I get back into my size 4 in a matter of 12 weeks? We shall see…
Ok, but getting back to this week…with everything going on at work my regimented routine for the gym definitely took a hit. I did not get to the gym as often as I needed to and I certainly didn’t get to see my kids or husband as much as I needed or wanted to…but, on a positive note–I didn’t let that derail my entire effort. The gym routine took a hit, for sure. I only made it to one of Ray’s sessions and only got to the gym two more times, as opposed to the four I usually log in a week. But I stayed true to my Weight Watcher’s food plan and kept up my newly forming healthy habits as best as I could. And even more importantly, I didn’t berate myself for what I was unable to accomplish.
Another secret confession, I am a perfectionist. And what that means is that I’m awesome at setting myself up to fail, a lot. One misstep, one bump and I can implode on myself faster than anything. It ain’t pretty…It’s also not apparent to anyone but me what’s going on. But life does have a way of putting us in situations where, if we’re paying attention and have even a mild inclination toward self-awareness, we confront our demons until they’re tamed. My perfectionism will always be a part of who I am–there’s always an editor living in my head calculating how everything I do could be tweaked, refined, made just a little bit better. But, I’m happy to see as I get older there’s also an awareness that sometimes good enough is just fine. And this week, good enough was the best I could get to. The fact that I didn’t devour every baked good at a catered business function and drown my self-loathing tears for doing so in sweets and french fries…pretty amazing. Oh, and starting to fit into some of my old clothes, the sweetest of victories!
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